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What's In A Name

By: Leeuna Foster , Posted On: Thursday, April 26, 2007

Names are good. I like names. Without them we wouldn't know when someone was talking to us, or for that matter, when they were talking ABOUT us. If everyone shared the same name, it would be impossible to spread a rumor about a person. We'd find ourselves on both sides of the gossip fence at the same time. How would we comprehend the news and sports reports? Imagine listening to a play by play of Super Bowl XLI, if all the players were named Manning.

However, names can often be confusing. Like the names of restaurants for example. Say you went out to dinner on Saturday evening to TGI Friday's Restaurant. And suppose you ate a Sundae for dessert. You go back to work on Monday morning and your co-worker friend asks you about your weekend...
FRIEND: "Where did you have dinner Saturday?"
YOU: "Friday's."
FRIEND: "No, Saturday!"
YOU: "Yeah. Friday's! You've gotta try their Sundaes."
FRIEND: "You're stupid and I'm never speaking to you again!"

And the names of food. This can be confusing as well. You can have Kentucky Fried Chicken in New Jersey, A new York Strip Steak in Idaho, Philadelphia Cream Cheese in Texas, and a Chicago Style pizza in, of all places, Chicago...

I'm almost inclined to believe that the entire English language is messed up. You can drive thru the bank window, but you can't drive through a parked car. (unless you have loads of auto insurance and a good reason). You can stand for what you believe in and still remain seated, you can fall asleep while lying down, and you can lie while standing up.

Then there's that thing with the escalator and elevator. Our dictionary tells us that the words: elevate and escalate mean "to rise, to go up, to ascend toward the top". So, why do we still call them elevators and escalators when they're going down? I'm sorry but that's just wrong.

And what about that time when you needed to get your hair done, or when you needed to see a dentist or a doctor on short notice? The receptionist looked at you all hateful like and said, "I'm sorry we can't accept walk ins." Then you wondered if you should have crawled or skipped into the office, or perhaps driven in on your Hoveround.

And who ever started referring to Pepsi and Coke products as 'soft drinks'? I dropped a case of Mountain dew on my foot the other day and believe me there was nothing soft about it.

And what about all these eponymous diseases, like Lou Gehrig's disease, Hartnup's disease, Mortimer's disease, all named for the patients who first got the disease. Or Addison's disease named for Thomas Addison, the British physician who invented the light bulb...(no wait that was Thomas Edison) Anyway, I'm sure it was not a life long dream of these people to grow up and have a disease named after them.

On second thought, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, if everyone had the same name, especially during the next presidential election...

In the immortal words of Juliet, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Leeuna Foster is a syndicated humor columnist from East Tennessee. Her column appears weekly in her home town newspaper. She is also a reporter and staff writer for The Beacon.

She has been published by the Mcfadden Women's Group, Happiness Magazine, Byline Magazine, as well as various other newspapers around the country. If you would like to publish her column in your newspaper or magazine, you may contact her through her website at "http://www.leeunafoster.com for more information on her fees and to gain permission to publish her work.

Article Author: Leeuna_Foster

Article Source: http://www.many-articles.com



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