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Are You a Person, Partner or Parent First?
By: Michael Grose , Posted On: Tuesday, April 03, 2007
It is useful to think in terms of the person, partner and parent relationship. I believe that you are a person first, a partner (if involved in a relationship) second and, lastly, you are a parent. Most mothers tend to put things the other way around and put all their effort and energy into their children first, tend to the needs of their partner next, and put their own emotional and physical needs last. It needs to be that way when a new child comes into the world babies are all-consuming. However, it is easy to continue that way rather than change priorities as children move through the different stages of development. For the sake of parental well-being and self-esteem it is important that in some ways mothers (and fathers) reclaim their lives and put themselves first at least sometimes. This means you may need to create opportunities during each day, each week and each month for you to do the enjoyable activities that sustain you. Similarly, it is important to create opportunities to spend time with your partner that do not revolve around your children. A weekly coffee time, a monthly night out and a three monthly weekend away are just some ways you can make sure your partnerships grows. By tending to ourselves first and our partners second you create the right environment to be a terrific parent. You are more able to provide for the emotional and self-esteem needs of your child as you have looked after your own psychological needs. Michael Grose is a popular parenting expert and media commentator. He is the director of Parentingideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular expert who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. For the absolute best advice and ideas, free courses and fabulous resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au Article Author: Michael_Grose
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